We think often if there might really be a heaven or place of deep peace, joy, and contentment. I truly believe there is. It does lie beyond our description in concrete terms, but could be described as timeless, beyond space limitations, and with a deep and wonderful sense of those intangible qualities of joy, love and peace. How then, can we experience these?
Simply, we experience wonderful transcendence and deep love and peace through our relationships with others, or those who come into our lives. We do this by seeing ourselves and the other as beyond a body to be in essence divine and eternal. We see them as ourselves, as timeless and eternal Spirit or what some might call Soul. It is on this basis we are able to forgive ourselves for errors and misjudgments made in our daily existence. The test of this forgiveness is the way we then forgive and accept our brother or sister. “Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us.”
It is often said that to experience a deep and wonderful sexual experience, people must forgive each other for whatever sins or judgments we have projected on each other. We must look past these in forgiveness and understanding to that which is eternal, to the Christ Self they and we each have. The challenge, however, is to remember this forgiveness and acceptance practice outside the bed room. In fact, not to practice outside the bedroom makes the bedroom experience much less fulfilling.
Indeed, many describe the experience of deep love, joy and peace as similar to sexual orgasm. I have written before of how a disciple of the Dalai Lama once said that in his single, celibate lifestyle of prayer and sharing love and peace, it felt like being orgasmic all the time. Many of these monks experience what is termed “kundalini orgasm” by quiet meditation on their spiritual oneness. I don’t believe we need to be a monk or nun to experience this, and indeed, many of those do not, but we can have it in our daily lives as wives, husbands, parents and grandparents.
The idea is to see past the physical appearances, errors and sins of our brother/sister. We see him or her as something much more than a body of fairly inexpensive organic matter. We see them as Spirit, as Transcendent, as part of the Divinity of which we all have. Not to see it in another is not to see or experience it in ourselves.
In the Course of Miracles there is a line which tells us to do whatever might seem outrageous for us for another because in the timeless view, it doesn’t make any difference. This idea can liberate so many of our petty preferences that keep us separated from each other. We can be part of rituals and meals and activities that indeed are not our first choices, but realize that in the end, we all eat the “Vanilla Spirit” anyway. Of course, this does not mean we have to participate willingly in rape, murder, or thievery, but even if then victimized by such acts, we can learn to let them go by seeing ourselves other than a body.
In David Schnarch’s book, Passionate Marriage, he asserts a central thesis for a couple to experience a deep, passionate, and life-giving life together, each one must be very secure in his or her own self, his or her own being. Much of David’s contributions come out of a mystical understanding of who we are at our essence. Recognizing ourselves as Divine, as Eternal, we begin to see what happens to us in daily circumstances as less important, as less needed to be clung to as signs of our victimization and limitations. I have seen videos of persons without arms or legs give motivation talks to young people about finding the Inner Self as the secret to a life here experienced as joy and bliss.
So the secret and opportunity to experiencing heaven is given daily in our encounters with others, especially with our spouses or significant others. We speak the truth in love, as the Bible says. If we don’t receive ever receive respect and kindness and are repeatedly hurt or denigrated as to our Self worth, we can quietly, courageously and lovingly leave the relationship. We have learned our lesson and now the other one is free as to the time he can learn his or hers.
Once I knew a woman whose husband was very abusive. He was an alcoholic and would spend money she earned from her good job on bad habits and often put her into deep debt for his thoughtless ways. One day she decided such living was unloving to herself and her husband. She filed for divorce with an attorney. In court contesting the divorce, her husband wanted everything he could get from his wife. Her attitude was, “Give it all to him and let it go; I can regain whatever I have lost! I just want to live in peace and he is not ready for such an understanding.” At one of their last court appearances, her husband suddenly broke down and wept like a little child, confessing how badly he had hurt her and was unworthy of her love and presence! He declared she was the best thing ever to come into his life, and he had ignored it. And he let her go without further contesting.
Such a result may not come to your life in this form, but I assure you it will in many other ones. See yourself as a Divine being, a Christ one, and in treating others near you the same way, forgiving and letting go, you will have many more times of those inexpressible moments of bliss, of moments of orgasmic ecstasy.